I've been reading the posts of my fellow bloggers, writing on such topics as Sudan, the American elections, the devastation of the world around us and I can't help but feel not only ill informed, but completely ambivalent.
I find it hard enough to get out of bed in the morning, let alone take on the worries of the world. Doesn't sound like the global activist, social commentator many of my friends have grown to know me as.
If I receive on post about how I don't care, how I am a blight on the world for my ignorance and lack of social conscious, I swear I will scream. I care, I really, truly care about the plight of those in this world less fortunate than I am, the problem is I have so little energy to type in this entry, or any other, how the fuck is me whinging on a blog about the state of the world going to make a blind bit of difference?
For those of you who don't know and I guess that would be few, I have suffered from depression for the past 12 years. It is something which most days has no significant impact on my life. Today is different. This week is different, infact, this year is different.
This is the start of my 'new life.' But why should today be different from yesterday and why should it be the start of anything? I guess I moved here expecting my world to suddenly make sense and the world to smell of roses. Doesn't matter where you go, there you are.
So here I am. I love it here. Yes, it's colder than Australia, I know that. Yes, they are about 10 years behind on a culinary scale, but god I love it here. I guess the feeling of belonging and being accepted into a group of people, a community, has an overwhelming power in which words cannot express.
So no, I'm not going to give you my opinion on Sudan, the elections, how great a nation of 20 million people are at sport or anything to do with how hard it seems to be for politicians or football managers to keep their pants on. I'll save that all for another day when getting out of bed isn't such a struggle. What I am going to say is how important it is for us to feel accepted for who we are, not what our opinions on politics are. No two people I meet will ever feel the same and I cherish that with all my heart. I love hearing and reading the opinions of my friends and even those I don't even know. I guess I just detest knowing there are people in this world who all think we should feel the same way about the world and those who don't are a waste of space. Social conscious conformists can BITE MY SHINY METAL ARSE! Well, I'd tell them to go do that, if I could be bothered.
PS - next blog, I promise to give you a run down of all the interesting characters I've been meeting lately and why I don't think drinking Bailey's and brandy is good idea.
Still alive.
Love Franz Fernidad. Can't get enough of them.
Still being picky, so finding a job going slowly.
Made HEAPS of really good friends and love working in a pub...
Met a nice action hero.